2011-03-24
Explanation
This lengthy comic presents a satirical thought experiment about how to end war by exploiting the military-industrial complex. The premise is simple: start a company that manufactures roller skates and offer them to the military. The absurdity of outfitting soldiers with roller skates drives the entire narrative.
The comic traces the full lifecycle of a misguided military program, parodying real defense procurement. First, Congress is lobbied and eventually accepts the ridiculous product. An editorial writer uses doublespeak ("we cannot let the enemy skate by") to build public support. The skates are manufactured through a deliberately convoluted supply chain spanning 435 parts across different congressional districts -- a pointed reference to how real defense contractors spread production across as many districts as possible to make programs politically impossible to cancel.
Inevitably, the skates prove useless in combat ("skates don't work on sand"), every battle is lost, and Congress refuses to acknowledge failure because the skate industry provides campaign funding. The military collapses, and yet the outcome is presented as an "informed choice" -- America has "always been a nation of peace." The final panel undercuts everything: when someone suggests actually running for Congress to change the system, they are dismissed as "cynical." The comic is a biting satire of how perverse incentives in military spending, congressional politics, and media complicity perpetuate wasteful and destructive policies.