2011-06-01
Explanation
This comic is titled "Failed Abstinence Slogans" and shows a single panel of a man wearing an anti-sex symbol t-shirt, enthusiastically presenting to a group of children. His slogan is: "I don't need friends with benefits when I have HANDS with benefits." The word "hands" is emphasized in bold.
The joke works because abstinence education programs often try to come up with catchy slogans to convince young people that not having sex is cool or desirable. This particular slogan fails spectacularly because instead of promoting the value of abstinence, it openly references masturbation as a substitute for sex. Rather than framing abstinence in a positive, wholesome light, the speaker is essentially telling children that self-pleasure is a perfectly good alternative -- which is exactly the kind of message abstinence programs would never want to promote.
The votey panel shows the same presenter, now wearing sunglasses, telling a child, "Don't look at me like that! You knew this was just a sex thing." This pushes the joke further by implying that the entire abstinence program was really just an excuse for the presenter to talk about sex with children, turning the well-meaning (if misguided) educational effort into something far more uncomfortable. It satirizes how some abstinence-focused sex education can paradoxically end up being more focused on sex than comprehensive sex ed would be.