2012-10-11
Explanation
This comic imagines Isaac Newton visiting a patent office to patent infinitesimal calculus for use in solving physics problems. The clerk greets him with "Oh, hi Mister Newton," and Newton explains his purpose. The clerk tells Newton not to bother reading the patent claim because he "won'''t understand" it, and to just accept that it is over his head and grant control -- a satirical jab at how patent applications are often so dense and broadly worded that even the examiners rubber-stamp them.
The clerk then explains that Newton will own the rights for seven years, after which they will expire. Newton delivers the punchline: "Nope. I now have a patent on systems changing with respect to time. Therefore, if you expire my patent, you'''re violating my patent." This is a brilliant logical trap -- calculus is fundamentally about rates of change over time, so if Newton patents that concept, then anything that changes over time (including the expiration of a patent, which is itself a time-dependent process) would constitute infringement.
The frustrated clerk says he'''ll go grab the manager, and Newton retorts, "If you use momentum to get there, you owe me royalties" -- since momentum is a concept from Newtonian mechanics that relies on calculus. The joke satirizes the modern patent system'''s tendency to grant absurdly broad patents on fundamental concepts, particularly in the software industry, where companies patent basic ideas and then use them to extract licensing fees from everyone.
The votey panel shows Newton adding, "I also own your instantaneous hesitation" -- a reference to instantaneous rates of change, another core concept in calculus. Even the clerk'''s moment of confused pause is covered by Newton'''s all-encompassing patent.