2013-07-05
Explanation
This multi-panel comic depicts a hostage negotiation that goes hilariously off the rails. A police negotiator calls out to a hostage-taker, offering to give him whatever he wants. The hostage-taker responds with an unexpectedly introspective and articulate midlife crisis monologue: he wants to be as carefree as he was at age 5, as excited as he was at age 10, as confident as he was at age 20, and as empowered as he was at age 40. The police officer, taken aback, tells his colleague they have a situation and asks to just release the hostage.
The situation escalates when another officer asks where the hostage actually is, and the negotiator realizes the hostage-taker does not appear to have one. When confronted, the man launches into a philosophical assessment that his evaluation is entirely based on underlying assumptions about the situation, suggesting the police are guilty of poor Bayesian analysis and missed opportunities. When an officer suggests he should have bargained for something more practical like a Ferrari, the man exclaims "That is exactly the kind of thing I'''m talking about!"
The joke works on multiple levels. It subverts the hostage negotiation trope by having the "criminal" turn out to be someone having an existential crisis rather than an actual hostage situation. His demands are impossible emotional states rather than money or escape vehicles. The comic also pokes fun at people who use overly analytical or philosophical frameworks to navigate simple real-world situations, turning what should be a tense standoff into an impromptu therapy session.
The votey panel shows the cartoonist thinking "Time to write some realistic dialog," a self-deprecating joke acknowledging that the comic'''s dialogue is absurdly unrealistic, preceded by the caption "Earlier today..."