2013-08-26
Explanation
In this comic, a woman (Aunt Jessica) is telling a small child that it is time to put away their blocks and go to sleep. The child responds ominously with "Wheels are turning, Aunt Jessica. Wheels are turning" -- a phrase that sounds like something a mob boss or scheming villain would say, completely incongruous coming from a toddler playing with blocks.
Below the panel, the comic presents a list titled "Phrases I intend to teach my children," each one being an absurdly dramatic or menacing thing for a child to say in mundane situations. These include: saying "Wheels are turning" when displeased with someone, exclaiming "Oh outrageous fortune!" when denied something, declaring "The spider wants its fly" when hungry, greeting people with a sinister "Well well well... if it isn't ___," and shouting "Assassin! Assassin!" when served bad food.
The humor lies in the idea of deliberately training children to use dramatically overwrought, villainous, or theatrical phrases in everyday childhood situations. The comedy comes from the contrast between the innocence of childhood and the dark, conspiratorial tone of the language. The votey adds another phrase to the list: "I never face away from an entrance while dining" -- a classic paranoid behavior associated with mafia figures and warlords, which is hilarious when imagined being practiced by a small child at dinner.