2014-05-05
Explanation
The Joke
A woman scolds a man for watching cartoons, asking "Are you five fing-years old?!" The man takes the insult literally and calculates his age in "fing-years": he has been sexually active for 30 years, at 365 days a year, with an average frequency of about once every four days, and an average duration of 10 minutes per encounter. After crunching the numbers, he concludes he is 0.05 fing-years old. In the final panels, the woman says "Oh my God" and the man laments, "I'm gonna die so fing-young."
The Humor
The joke hinges on a deliberate misinterpretation of the compound expletive "fing-years-old." The woman uses it as a simple intensifier ("Are you five damn years old?"), but the man interprets "fing-years" as a unit of measurement -- literally, the number of years he has spent having sex. By calculating his total sexual activity over a 30-year period, he arrives at a comically tiny number (roughly 0.05 years, or about 19 days), which reframes his entire life in depressing terms. The final punchline -- "I'm gonna die so fing-young" -- works on both levels: in regular years he is aging normally, but in "fing-years" he has barely lived at all. The humor also comes from the awkward oversharing of sexual statistics and the existential dread of realizing how little of one's life is spent on pleasurable activities.