2014-09-04
Explanation
The Joke
A man advises his friend: "You shouldn't marry for beauty. You should marry for brains." When asked why, he explains that beauty fades quickly -- if you marry at 35, you only get maybe 25 years of beauty. But if you marry for brains, "you get like 45 years before that fades" (referring to cognitive decline in old age). The friend then asks if there are any features that don't fade, and the man replies, "Oh sure. If I were your age, I'd go into a relationship with U.S. Treasury bonds."
The Humor
The comic takes the conventional wisdom "marry for brains, not beauty" and strips it of its romantic or moral framing, reducing it to a cold cost-benefit analysis. The man's reasoning is entirely utilitarian -- brains are better than beauty simply because they last about 20 years longer before declining. The final punchline escalates the absurdity: when asked about features that truly don't fade, he abandons human qualities altogether and recommends U.S. Treasury bonds as a relationship partner, treating marriage as purely a long-term investment decision. The joke satirizes people who approach relationships with excessive pragmatism.