all-knowing
Explanation
The Joke
A woman poses a theological puzzle to a priest: if God is omniscient and omnipotent, why does the Bible (Matthew 24:36) say that nobody knows the day or hour of the Second Coming — not even the Son? The priest reframes this in terms of pedagogy: teachers don't necessarily keep exam dates secret because they don't know them, but rather to force students to study constantly out of fear. The woman points out that if students already knew they would be tested, there'd be no reason for a pop quiz — and that the priest is essentially saying God manipulates people through anxiety rather than genuine uncertainty.
In the final panel, the priest prays to God asking if it's possible to give his followers "like 10% less intellectual curiosity," and God responds that there is literally no amount of intellectual curiosity He could give them that would prevent them from questioning Him — so He just sends zero.
The Humor
The comic works on multiple levels. First, there's the theological puzzle itself — the tension between God's omniscience and the claim that nobody knows the hour. The priest's "pop quiz" analogy is actually a fairly common apologetic move, but the woman immediately identifies the dark implication: that the system is designed to maintain perpetual fear, not genuine spiritual growth.
The final panel delivers the biggest laugh by suggesting that God deliberately made humans intellectually incurious because any amount of critical thinking would unravel the whole system. It's a joke about religion, but also about how institutions in general prefer compliance over curiosity.
Broader Context
SMBC frequently explores theological concepts through logical analysis. Weinersmith enjoys putting religious figures in dialogue with people who apply rigorous reasoning to doctrinal claims, exposing internal contradictions in a way that's playful rather than hostile.