Bases Loaded
Explanation
The Joke
The comic is a long-form exploration of the baseball metaphor for sexual progress (first base = kissing, second base = touching, third base = oral sex, home run = sex). It begins with an announcer explaining these bases, then imagines how this system would evolve. Philosophers get involved and begin debating the categorization: they argue that discrete categories are insufficient for the continuous spectrum of human intimacy. Academics create elaborate frameworks and graphs charting "bases" over time. A panel shows a graph with an asymptotic curve labeled "bases" that rises steeply and then levels off, followed by another graph showing it spiking and crashing. Eventually, the metaphor system collapses under its own academic weight. By the final panels, the characters conclude that since everyone uses the internet now, there is no longer a need for the bases metaphor at all, and a character laments that this overanalysis has ruined his life.
The Humor
The comic satirizes the tendency of academics and intellectuals to overcomplicate simple, informal social conventions. What starts as a straightforward (if juvenile) slang system for teenagers to discuss romantic milestones gets subjected to the full weight of philosophical analysis, statistical modeling, and sociological deconstruction. The graphs showing "bases" as mathematical functions are particularly funny because they apply rigorous quantitative methods to something inherently informal and subjective. The comic also pokes fun at how any cultural phenomenon, no matter how trivial, can be turned into a field of study with its own jargon, debates, and crises. The final joke -- that the internet has rendered the whole system obsolete -- adds a layer of commentary about how technology changes social norms faster than academics can study them.
References
The "baseball bases" metaphor for sexual milestones is an American cultural convention that became widespread among teenagers, particularly from the mid-20th century onward. The specific mapping (first base = kissing, etc.) has varied over time and between regions, which itself reflects the kind of definitional instability the comic satirizes.