being-president
Explanation
The Joke
Two people discuss what it would be like to be president. In the fantasy, a British dignitary presents the president with a bust of John Locke, "a founding philosopher of both of our modern traditions." The president graciously accepts. Then, "on behalf of America," the president presents a gift in return -- upon opening it, the British dignitary cries "Oh my God!" because the bag is on fire. It turns out to be a flaming bag of dog poop -- the classic juvenile prank.
The British representatives laugh hysterically ("HAHAHAHAHA") and have to ask, "Was... was there dog poo in the bag?" Later, a press secretary announces that "The president wishes to express his regret for owning Britain so hard."
In the final panel, two advisors discuss next steps. One says "I think I'd focus on fixing infrastructure," and the other replies, "That would make escape easier" -- implying the prank has caused an international incident and Britain may be coming for revenge.
The Humor
The joke plays on the common fantasy of "what would you do if you were president?" -- but instead of grand policy ambitions, the fantasy involves using the immense power and dignity of the presidency to pull a middle-school prank on a foreign ally during a formal diplomatic exchange. The contrast between the solemnity of the ceremony (exchanging a bust of Enlightenment philosopher John Locke) and the childishness of a flaming bag of dog poop is the core of the humor.
The press secretary's formal statement -- expressing "regret for owning Britain so hard" -- perfectly merges official diplomatic language with juvenile bragging. The final panel adds another layer: the infrastructure suggestion, normally a boring but responsible policy priority, is reframed as a means of escape from the consequences of the prank, suggesting that even in this fantasy, the president's childish behavior has real geopolitical repercussions.
References
John Locke (1632-1704) was an English philosopher whose ideas about natural rights, government by consent, and the social contract profoundly influenced both British political thought and the American founding. His "Two Treatises of Government" is considered foundational to the U.S. Declaration of Independence. The flaming bag of dog poop on the doorstep is a classic American prank, often depicted in movies and television.