confession-3
Explanation
The Joke
A man approaches what appears to be a confession booth and says "Father, I have a confession." The person on the other side responds: "As it turns, you're not actually an innocent bystander. Simply outstanding and wait for blood." The man responds "Because you're not" — and the scene shifts to reveal the "priest" is actually a vampire who announces: "The confession is to wait, and all the leftover testimony..."
In the final panels, the woman sighs and says "Please look away so that I can turn into bats," revealing that this is a vampire trying to use the confessional for her own purposes.
The Humor
The comic subverts the confessional setup by revealing the priest is actually a vampire. The humor comes from the absurd collision of Catholic confession with vampire mythology — the vampire is using the confessional booth (a dark, enclosed space with a screen for anonymity) as a convenient hiding spot, and the "confession" is just an excuse.
The final punchline — "Please look away so that I can turn into bats" — is funny because it treats vampiric transformation as something embarrassing or private, like changing clothes, rather than as something terrifying. The vampire is sheepish about her supernatural abilities, applying social etiquette to a fundamentally inhuman act.
Broader Context
SMBC occasionally dips into supernatural humor, and Weinersmith often finds comedy in applying mundane social conventions to extraordinary situations. The title "Confession 3" indicates this is the third in a series of confession-themed comics, each presumably finding a new way to subvert the confessional format.