dust
Explanation
In this comic, a woman catches a man named Ted rolling around in dusty cobwebs and asks why. He defensively fires back: "You're so great, how do you turbocharge and rename ectoderm-derived keratinized filaments?" -- an absurdly technical way of describing hair care (styling and dyeing hair). The woman protests that "grooming and evolved hairlessness" are not comparable, and Ted responds "You will never understand me, Charlotte."
The joke contrasts Ted's disgusting behavior (rolling in dust and cobwebs like an animal) with the technically-accurate-but-absurd reframing of ordinary human grooming as equally bizarre. By describing hair dyeing and styling in clinical biological terms, Ted tries to make the case that all grooming behaviors are equally arbitrary. The humor lies in the false equivalence and the deadpan delivery of the pseudo-scientific jargon, as well as the familiar relationship dynamic of one partner refusing to acknowledge that their habit is objectively grosser than the other's.