evolved-4
Explanation
The Joke
An alien appears on a screen and tells a human: "We will not contact your species nor will we neglect a few of you." The human protests that they're hard to study, but the alien explains that evolved civilizations that have surpassed barbarism are the only ones they make diplomatic contact with. Only species that have distinguished themselves as capable of reason and ethics qualify. The alien describes a standard test: educational systems are evaluated, and only evolved species will pass this assessment, with no species permitted to skip it or use a high score to bypass learning requirements. The human tries to bargain, asking for "12 months or nothing." The alien responds: "You drive a weird bargain, but okay."
The Humor
The comic satirizes humanity's self-image in the context of first contact. The aliens have a reasonable standard — they only engage with species that have demonstrated intellectual and ethical maturity. The joke is that the human, rather than trying to prove humanity's worthiness, immediately starts haggling like they're at a used car lot, trying to get the best deal on the terms rather than engaging with the substance.
The "12 months or nothing" counteroffer is absurd — the human is negotiating a timeline as if this were a business transaction rather than a civilizational assessment. The alien's bemused acceptance ("you drive a weird bargain") suggests that this kind of behavior is exactly why humanity hasn't qualified yet. The comic plays on the recurring SMBC theme that humans, when confronted with cosmic or philosophical matters, default to petty, transactional thinking.