hedging
Explanation
The Joke
A man on a first date opens with an unusual proposition: "Before we start this date, I want to make a bet with you that we won't have sex tonight. Ten to one odds on ten bucks." His date is understandably confused: "What? Why?" He explains it's "emotional hedging" -- if they have sex, great; if they don't, he keeps his money. "Win-win!"
His date points out the fatal flaw: "Except that you're making it so we only have sex if you pay me for sex." The man tries to distinguish: "I'm not paying FOR sex. I'm paying IF sex." The final panel shows him on a different date (or the same one, reset), where someone suggests first dates "usually begin with likes and dislikes," and the man responds, "I'm suuuper into shaking hands and agreeing to things. You?"
The Humor
The joke satirizes the misapplication of financial hedging strategies to romantic situations. In finance, hedging is a legitimate way to reduce risk -- but applying it to dating creates absurd and self-defeating incentives. The man is so focused on optimizing his emotional outcomes that he creates a scenario indistinguishable from prostitution, which his date immediately identifies. The distinction between "paying FOR sex" versus "paying IF sex" is a parody of the kind of semantic gymnastics people use to rationalize bad ideas. The final panel suggests this man's entire approach to human interaction is transactional -- he's "into shaking hands and agreeing to things" -- revealing someone who has completely replaced normal social skills with contract negotiation.