mug
Explanation
The Joke
A mugger wearing a ski mask demands "Open up your wallet!" The victim complies, and the mugger starts going through it -- only to be horrified by what he finds. "Jeeeeezus, there are like 200 old receipts in here and no cash." He also discovers a comically ancient condom: "My God, what decade is this condom from?" The victim weakly offers, "Some of those metro cards still have money on them!" The mugger, apparently more disgusted than threatening at this point, says "Okay fine, shoot" -- giving up on the robbery because the wallet's contents are so pathetic.
The comic inverts the typical mugging scenario. Instead of the victim being terrified, it is the mugger who is appalled. The wallet reveals a life so sad -- no cash, hundreds of hoarded receipts, expired metro cards, and a condom so old it has become an archaeological artifact -- that the mugger loses all interest in the crime.
The Humor
The comedy comes from the role reversal: the mugger becomes the one who is uncomfortable and judgmental, essentially roasting the victim's life choices instead of robbing them. The specific details are what make it land -- the 200 old receipts, the ancient condom, the desperate offer of partially loaded metro cards. Each detail paints a more pathetic picture, building to the punchline where the mugger would rather just give up than continue rifling through this sad wallet. It is also a relatable joke for anyone whose wallet is a chaotic graveyard of old receipts and expired cards.