Paris
Explanation
This comic retells the Judgment of Paris from Greek mythology, but with a modern comedic sensibility that highlights how absurd the original myth actually is.
In the myth, the Trojan prince Paris is asked by three goddesses -- Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite -- to judge which of them is the most beautiful, each offering him a bribe. Here, Paris immediately recognizes this setup as ridiculous: "Come on, this is stupid."
The comic then runs through the goddesses' identities and bribes. Hera is described as "the angry wife goddess," and Paris points out that Athena "exploded out of a dude's head one time" and is currently wielding a spear at him -- hardly the stuff of a beauty contest. Athena sheepishly admits: "A little, yes." Then there's Aphrodite, "goddess of hotness and bonking," whose very domain makes the contest a foregone conclusion.
The bribes follow: Hera offers Paris rule over Europe and Asia, Athena offers wisdom, and Aphrodite offers to wingwoman him "the hottest girl in creation." Paris is baffled: "Are these serious proposals? Are you even trying?" He points out the obvious -- "See? You see this? How is this even a myth?" -- highlighting that the contest is rigged from the start because one goddess is literally the goddess of beauty and is offering the most appealing reward.
The humor comes from applying modern common sense to an ancient myth, revealing how contrived the story's premise always was. The Judgment of Paris set off the Trojan War, and yet the "choice" was never really a choice at all.