Reference
Explanation
The Joke
A scientist in a lab coat presents what she calls "our standard reference bastard." The bastard is kept in a controlled environment -- a sealed chamber where climate and internet access are perfectly controlled, keeping the person at "precisely one bastard." The caption below reads: "Sometimes I wish the National Institute of Standards and Technology would help with social science."
The joke imagines applying the rigorous measurement standards of physics and metrology -- where units like the kilogram are defined by reference objects kept under precise conditions -- to human social qualities like being a "bastard." Just as NIST maintains standard references for physical measurements, this comic envisions a world where there would be a standard reference person whose level of unpleasantness is carefully calibrated and maintained.
The Humor
The humor comes from the absurdity of applying hard-science precision to something inherently subjective and unquantifiable -- human personality traits. The language is pitch-perfect parody of how metrologists talk about reference standards ("perfectly controlling its climate," "held at precisely one bastard"), which makes the ridiculous premise feel oddly plausible. The detail about controlling internet access is a particularly funny touch, implying that internet access is a known variable that affects someone's level of bastardry. The caption's wistful tone ("Sometimes I wish...") suggests a social scientist who is genuinely frustrated by the lack of standardized measurements in their field.
References
The comic references the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST), which is the U.S. federal agency responsible for maintaining measurement standards. Until 2019, the kilogram was literally defined by a physical reference object -- the International Prototype of the Kilogram, a platinum-iridium cylinder kept under carefully controlled conditions in Paris. The comic applies this same concept to social science, where measurement and quantification are notoriously difficult compared to physics. The joke about controlling internet access to maintain a stable level of unpleasantness is a nod to how online culture can amplify negative behavior.