Second Coming
Explanation
The Joke
The comic depicts the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. In the first panel, Jesus emerges from a cave (evoking his resurrection) and announces: "It's the Second Coming! At last!" But then adds: "Guys, I wasn't gonna come back until the year 7777, but something has got to give." A crowd gathers, and someone asks: "Whaddya mean?" Jesus launches into a tirade: "The rate of masturbation is off the wall!" and continues, "How can you permit this? I mean do what you gotta do but it's like you're all in a race with each other! We can't even Noah's Ark your asses because you're already drowning in your own fluids!"
In the next panel, Jesus declares: "At this point I have no choice but to hold you collectively responsible!" and announces: "I'm banning all video streaming for three generations!" A person in the crowd gasps: "Wow!" The final panel shows Jesus standing with arms spread wide, and a voice says: "Every freakin' time!" — implying that this exact cycle of divine frustration and collective punishment keeps repeating.
The Humor
The comedy works by taking the grandest possible theological event — the literal return of Christ — and making it about something embarrassingly mundane and bodily. The escalation of Jesus's frustration is played for laughs, as he goes from divine authority figure to an exasperated parent figure who cannot believe what humanity has been doing. The punishment (banning video streaming for three generations) is both absurdly specific and hilariously disproportionate, blending divine wrath with modern technology complaints. The final "Every freakin' time!" suggests this is a recurring cosmic cycle, adding a layer of weary, eternal frustration.
References
The Second Coming is a central doctrine in Christian theology, referring to the prophesied return of Jesus Christ to Earth. The comic references Noah's Ark (Genesis 6-9), where God flooded the Earth to punish humanity's wickedness, repurposing it as a joke about bodily fluids. The mention of "the year 7777" is a humorous invented date playing on religiously significant numbers. The "video streaming" punishment connects divine judgment to modern internet culture.