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Explanation
The Joke
A professor stands before a chalkboard with two statements written on it. The first reads "(Number of people required to have a conspiracy) = 2," establishing the minimum threshold for a conspiracy. The second reads "(Number of people on planet who can keep a secret) < 2," meaning that fewer than two people on Earth are capable of keeping a secret. The caption below states "Professor Ericson disproves all conspiracy theories."
The logical argument is simple and devastating: if a conspiracy requires at least two people, but fewer than two people on the entire planet can keep a secret, then no conspiracy can ever remain hidden. Therefore, by this reasoning, every conspiracy theory that depends on a cover-up is automatically disproved -- because the participants would inevitably blab.
The Humor
The comedy comes from applying rigorous mathematical logic to a social observation that everyone intuitively understands: people are terrible at keeping secrets. By framing this common-sense insight as a formal proof on a chalkboard, Weinersmith satirizes both the grandiosity of conspiracy theories and the academic tendency to formalize the obvious. The joke also pokes fun at the fact that massive conspiracy theories often require thousands of people to stay silent indefinitely, which anyone who has ever told a friend a secret knows is essentially impossible.