Stash
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Explanation
This comic is a guide to "offensive mustaches," categorizing various facial hair styles not by their aesthetic appeal but by the social faux pas they represent.
The title panel announces "Know Your Offensive Mustaches." Each subsequent panel presents a mustache style paired with a defensive excuse from its wearer:
- "The Hitler" is the obvious one -- a small toothbrush mustache inextricably associated with Adolf Hitler, making it socially radioactive.
- "The Dictatorial Hitler" adds the caveat "But those are just sideburns!" -- suggesting someone trying to disguise a Hitler mustache by extending it, while insisting the offensive part is technically something else.
- "The Committed" features a man with a soul patch saying "It's a soul patch! My girlfriend likes it!" -- the mustache equivalent of blaming someone else for your questionable choice.
- "The Goalless" shows a man with a full beard saying "I just haven't shaved! It's not a statement!" -- framing his facial hair as mere laziness rather than a deliberate style choice.
The humor lies in the escalating absurdity of the defenses. The comic starts with a genuinely offensive mustache (the Hitler) and progressively moves to increasingly normal facial hair styles, while the owners become more and more defensive. The joke is that all facial hair apparently requires justification, and every mustache-haver is perpetually on trial in the court of public opinion.