stats
Explanation
The Joke
The comic is titled "Never Have Sex With a Statistician." In a dark panel (implying a bedroom scene), one person asks "What are you doing to my belly button?" The statistician partner replies, "Uh, going by median height, this is exactly where I'm supposed to put my penis."
The statistician is relying on population-level statistical averages to determine the anatomical location of their partner's genitals, rather than simply looking at or communicating with the actual person in front of them. The result is that they are aiming at entirely the wrong spot.
The Humor
The joke plays on the stereotype that overly analytical, data-driven people are hopelessly bad at practical, interpersonal situations — especially intimate ones. A statistician, trained to think in terms of distributions and central tendencies, applies statistical reasoning where direct observation would be far more appropriate. The median height of humans tells you nothing useful about the specific person you are in bed with, yet the statistician treats the situation as a math problem rather than a human interaction. The comic fits into SMBC's long-running tradition of "never date a [profession]" jokes, where the professional deformation of various fields is applied to absurd romantic contexts. The darkness of the panel adds to the comedic effect, implying neither person can see what is happening, which makes the statistician's reliance on data even more absurd — though even in the dark, one would presumably use touch rather than statistical tables.