trolley-problems
Explanation
The Joke
A bearded professor-like figure wearing sunglasses poses what appears to be a serious philosophical dilemma: "If you take the trolley down one track, you kill five people. If you take it down the other track, you have to poop from your mouth and eat with your butt forever." The caption below reads: "Trolley problems are just 'Would You Rather' but for adults."
The comic deflates the intellectual pretension of the trolley problem -- a cornerstone of philosophical ethics -- by pointing out that at its core, it is structurally identical to the juvenile party game "Would You Rather," where players choose between two unpleasant or absurd scenarios. By making the second option grotesquely silly rather than another morally weighty choice, the comic highlights that the trolley problem format is essentially just "pick your least-bad option" dressed up in academic language.
The Humor
The humor comes from the collision of high and low culture. The trolley problem is typically presented in philosophy classrooms with grave seriousness as a way to explore utilitarian vs. deontological ethics. But the comic strips away the intellectual veneer by replacing the second option with something that belongs in a middle school cafeteria conversation. The professor figure -- complete with beard, sunglasses, and cigarette -- adds to the comedy by delivering this absurd scenario with total philosophical gravitas. The observation in the caption is genuinely insightful: both trolley problems and "Would You Rather" force you to choose between two bad options, and the only difference is the perceived sophistication of the framing.
The votey panel shows the same professor saying "The answer is kill them," which adds a darkly funny punchline -- suggesting that when the alternative is sufficiently absurd, even a philosopher will just go utilitarian without hesitation.
References
- The Trolley Problem: A famous thought experiment in ethics, introduced by philosopher Philippa Foot in 1967 and expanded by Judith Jarvis Thomson. It asks whether it is morally permissible to divert a trolley to kill one person in order to save five, and is used to explore the differences between utilitarian and deontological moral reasoning.
- "Would You Rather": A popular social game where players must choose between two equally unpleasant or absurd hypothetical scenarios, purely for entertainment.