vice
Explanation
The comic depicts a political press conference where a candidate announces the selection of their vice presidential running mate. In the event of the candidate's death or incapacitation, their life partner Dave is ready to serve as president "on day one."
The joke builds through the audience's confusion as the candidate describes Dave's qualifications: he is part of a "balanced marital ticket," has extreme positions on household matters like thermostat preferences and pillow selection that make the candidate seem like a "solid average." The candidate then reveals that their children will all get "mid-range household elections," and that Dave "will not be involved in national policy but may be asked to sub for me at some events."
The humor lies in the deliberate confusion between a political vice president and a spouse (a life partner). The comic satirizes how vice presidential selections in American politics are often made not based on governing ability but on "balancing the ticket" -- choosing someone who compensates for the candidate's perceived weaknesses with different demographics or political positions. By substituting a spouse for a VP pick, the comic highlights how transactional and calculated these partnerships can be, and how the role of vice president is often more about complementing the president's image than actual governance. The final joke about Dave not being involved in policy but subbing at events is a direct jab at how vice presidents are often sidelined.