wish-2
Explanation
The Joke
A genie appears before a T. Rex and announces "T. Rex! You may have one wish!" The T. Rex gasps in excitement. Then it makes its wish: "I wish T. Rexes would spend much less time in self-gratification!" The genie, visibly confused and concerned, asks "Are... are you sure?" The T. Rex, now shown as a tiny figure, confirms: "Use any means necessary."
The Humor
The standard genie-wish setup leads the reader to expect a selfish wish — perhaps longer arms, the classic T. Rex complaint, or not going extinct. Instead, the T. Rex makes a bizarrely puritanical wish to curb the self-gratification habits of its entire species. The genie's bewildered "Are you sure?" reaction mirrors the audience's confusion.
The final panel's ominous "Use any means necessary" adds a dark twist — the T. Rex is so committed to ending this behavior that it's willing to accept any consequence, which may be an oblique joke suggesting this is how the dinosaurs actually went extinct. The comic plays on the absurdity of a dinosaur having strong moral opinions about masturbation rather than, say, wishing to avoid the asteroid.
Broader Context
SMBC frequently uses the genie-wish format to subvert expectations. Weinersmith enjoys taking classic joke setups and having characters make wishes that are unexpected, self-defeating, or philosophically loaded. This comic also fits into SMBC's tradition of dinosaur humor and jokes about puritanical attitudes toward sexuality.