witch
Explanation
The Joke
A group of Puritan-era men (wearing the distinctive tall hats and dark clothing of 17th-century New England colonists) are testing a man by putting him in a river. One exclaims, "I knew it! He floats when put in the river!" while another shouts, "Witch! A witch!" The caption below reads: "Due to its coincidence with the Salem Witch Trials, the Second Coming was cut short."
The Humor
The joke operates on a collision between two historical/religious narratives. In Christian theology, Jesus is said to have walked on water, and his Second Coming is a prophesied return to Earth. Meanwhile, during the Salem Witch Trials (1692-1693) and the broader witch-hunting tradition, one common "test" for witchcraft was to throw the accused into water: if they floated, it was taken as proof they were a witch (since they were supposedly rejecting the "water of baptism"), and if they sank, they were innocent (though they might drown in the process).
The comic imagines the darkly funny scenario in which Jesus Christ returns to Earth during the Salem Witch Trials period, and his miraculous ability to float on water is immediately interpreted as evidence of witchcraft rather than divinity. The Puritans, ironically the most devout Christians of their era, would condemn the very savior they worship because their witch-detection methodology produces a false positive on the Son of God.
Broader Context
This comic plays on a recurring SMBC theme of finding logical contradictions in religious traditions. The "float test" (or "trial by water") has deep roots in European witch-hunting folklore, most famously parodied in Monty Python and the Holy Grail ("She's a witch! Burn her!"). The Salem Witch Trials of 1692 are one of the most well-known episodes of mass hysteria in American history, resulting in the execution of 20 people. The comic also implicitly critiques the absurdity of the float test itself — a diagnostic that would flag the most holy figure in the Christian tradition as guilty.