Explain SMBC — the wiki for Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

## The Joke A time traveler arrives to warn a teenager: "Bob! I''m you from the future! In five years you invent a time machine!" He explains that Bob will use the time machine to go back to when he

## The Joke The comic presents a series of scenarios in which everyday services become absurdly adversarial and difficult once "all this stuff people are afraid of" about the internet actually become

## The Joke A man excitedly announces that he was bitten by a radioactive spider and declares "It''s superpower time!" His companion points out that all spiders are radioactive because all common ele

## The Joke The comic opens with the text: "Fun fact: People will believe any explanation of a nursery rhyme, as long as it''s horrific." A person then tells their companion: "Did you know that ''Jac

## The Joke A young man asks his great-grandfather how he manages to focus, confessing that he thinks about girls all the time. The grandfather replies that when you get as old as he is, you just do

## The Joke An art dealer (or artist) is trying to sell a Cubist painting to a skeptical buyer by pitching it as a "three-for-one sale" -- arguing that since Cubism depicts an object from multiple an

## The Joke A man attempts a pickup line on a woman: "Hey baby -- are you regrets? Because I wanna hold on to you and never let go." The format follows the classic "Are you [X]? Because [Y]" pickup l

## The Joke The comic proposes the idea of "pre-presidential roleplay" -- forcing political candidates to act out being president before they are elected, so voters can see how they would actually be

## The Joke A couple is attempting to spice up their marriage through erotic roleplay. However, the woman has chosen to roleplay as "Financial Responsibility," demanding that her husband "submit" to

## The Joke A king presents a classic Sleeping Beauty scenario: a princess was cursed 500 years ago and will not wake until kissed by a "true prince." However, the would-be prince raises two very mod

## The Joke A female professor presents a paper that claims to disprove the "Boobs Conjecture," which states that for any group of numbers larger than 9, excluding multiples of 3, that is funnier tha

## The Joke The comic is titled "Funtime Activity: Outdorking Word-Dorks." A man says he really hates when people say "irregardless." A woman enthusiastically agrees, adding that "ir-" is just a corr

## The Joke A little girl prays to Zeus, asking him to help her daddy stop being sad. She explains she tried praying to other deities but nothing happened. Zeus appears and tells her that he basicall

## The Joke A child asks her father why people in old paintings have one hand tucked inside their shirts. The father explains that photos were more expensive back then, so if you needed a picture of

## The Joke A woman declares that "Economics is stupid because it assumes people behave rationally." She backs this up by saying: "I mean, look at me! I'''m a person and I'''ve never read a single bo

## The Joke A professor explains the concept of a "dollar auction" from economics. In a dollar auction, you auction off a dollar bill, but both the winner and the runner-up must pay their bid amounts

## The Joke A child asks his father what he would do if he had a time machine. The father replies that he would travel back four years and wear a condom on the day he conceived the child'''s sister.

## The Joke A senator holds a press conference where he announces several shocking confessions: he cheated on his wife with a prostitute, he is secretly a crack dealer, and he once shot a man in Reno

## The Joke The comic poses the question: "You ever wish Charles Dickens named his characters during a time when swearing was more socially acceptable?" It then shows two Dickensian characters greeti

## The Joke Achilles, the legendary Greek hero, is asked by a philosopher (likely Socrates) whether he believes in the concept of ethical truth. Achilles enthusiastically affirms that he does -- kill

## The Joke Jesus is told that civilization is about to be destroyed and only a few will survive. He is given the chance to transmit exactly one sentence to the future. His solution is to give them "

## The Joke A woman asks a man if he knows that one plus one equals two. He says yes. She then asks whether he knows this from observation or from pure logic, and he confidently says "obviously pure

## The Joke The comic shows a single panel with the caption: "Fortunately, Thomas Jefferson was born before modern social science." Jefferson is depicted writing on a document with a quill pen, but i

## The Joke A scientist presents research on dolphin behavior. The experimental setup involves a dolphin that, when it presses a button, receives tasty salmon. Simultaneously, in a separate tank, a d

## The Joke Superman confronts a fundamental problem with being a superhero: if he is so powerful, why does he spend his time fighting individual villains instead of using his powers to solve systemi

## The Joke A parent tells their child to "follow your dreams" and the child eagerly presents a list of those dreams. The parent reviews the list and delivers a brutal statistical breakdown: 40% are

## The Joke A child calls out to his dad, saying there is a monster under his bed. The father goes to investigate and finds what appears to be a dark, amorphous creature. The monster speaks, saying i

## The Joke Two people are lying in bed discussing the famous Hemingway six-word story: "For sale: baby shoes. Never worn." One of them explains that the story is considered impressive because it evo

## The Joke A scientist describes love in purely neurochemical terms — dopamine responses, oxytocin bonding, evolved pair-bonding instincts — and another character accuses them of "ruining" love by r

## The Joke A group of ancient Israelites performs the scapegoat ritual: they cast all of their guilt onto a goat and send it off into the wild. After the goat leaves, one of them immediately says "I

## The Joke A boy prays to God: "Dear God, please don't worry about me. My sick auntie needs help more." God appears in a glowing orb and responds harshly: "Christ. Spare me the false humility. I don

## The Joke This is a retelling of Dickens' "A Christmas Carol." The Ghost of Christmas Future shows Scrooge his future: "Scrooge! Behold the future if you do not change your ways!" Scrooge sees a bo

## The Joke Two people are having a conversation. One asks: "Who do you think would win if Batman fought Superman?" The other responds with nihilistic philosophy: "The span of two lives is but a wink

## The Joke A child wishes his snowman were alive. The snowman suddenly comes to life and exclaims "What the--" The snowman is horrified: "No. What. I'm... I'm a mind. In a body made of ice." He turn

## The Joke This long-form comic explores themes of artificial intelligence and self-awareness. A group discusses whether an AI has true consciousness. One person notes it has passed a Turing test. A

## The Joke A king or ruler announces a series of genocides with escalating philosophical implications. First: "We killed all of the dinosaur-riders. We're not sure how many there were." Second: "We

## The Joke This multi-panel comic presents a faux holiday special called "The End of Frosty." A clock strikes something ominous. Frosty the Snowman is melting and people gather around. Someone says

## The Joke A professor-like character is lecturing about a creature that lives in caves and burrows, describing how it has evolved very little skin pigmentation, big eyes that became less useful so

## The Joke A person points out a contradiction: "If you don't believe in evolution... not enough proof... but you do believe in Noah's Ark... self-evident..." The person then argues that if you beli

## The Joke A troll argues that if trolls are exposed to the sun, they die. Another character calls this "dumb." A scientist (a woman with glasses) explains the physics: a photon is not like a chair

## The Joke The comic depicts two bacteria (or similar single-celled organisms) in a moment of panic. One exclaims "Oh god, baby, the cell wall broke!" and the other asks "Did you release any plasmid

## The Joke The comic presents a fake physics lecture about "information" traveling faster than the speed of light. A couple is told by the woman's mother that they should see other people, and the p

## The Joke The comic is titled "Never Sleep With a Physics Professor." In bed, one partner asks "You're done?! Already?" and the physics professor smugly replies, "The remainder of sex is left as an

## The Joke The comic features Spider-Man confronting a boy, telling him to stop doing bad things like stealing, lying, and skipping school. The boy pushes back, arguing that Spider-Man is just engag

## The Joke A man arrives in Hell and is greeted by the Devil, who says "Welcome to Hell." The man notes it doesn't look so bad. The Devil explains he'll only be there for sixty-five seconds before f

## The Joke A teacher stands in front of a classroom and says, "The way the book teaches this is dumb. It'll be wayyyy simpler if we just think in terms of ordered pairs, each belonging to a nonzero

## The Joke The comic is set in a primitive/prehistoric era. A caveman-like figure sends a message: "Child born! Must send signal to home village!" He uses a drum or signal to communicate. Another pe

## The Joke An older man reflects on how aging has changed him. When he was young, he was "generic" -- he didn't have strong opinions, he just cared about love, friends, and starry nights. But as he'

## The Joke A Buddhist monk tells a woman, "The origin of suffering is desire." She responds, "Yeah, but desire is the origin of spaceships and vibrating dongs." The next panel shows them zooming thr

## The Joke A Frankenstein-like mad scientist declares, "I have done it! I have created a Frankenstein! Hahahahaha!" His creation, a green monster, corrects him: "Technically I'm a Frankenstein's Mon