2014-04-05
Explanation
The Joke
Jesus returns to Earth and addresses a crowd, saying: "I have returned to bring heaven! You have suffered long, but now I'll take you to a better place: a planet overpopulated by a race of gently evolved humanoids with no natural defenses. I've been fattening them up for decades, just for you to--"
He is then interrupted by someone asking: "Uh, did you come to the wrong planet?" Jesus looks around awkwardly and says: "Oh, wow. Hey, jeez. Well, this is awkward. I'll just be going then. If you could please part the crowd so that..."
The final panel shows Jesus crucified again, with the caption: "Every fucking time."
The Humor
The comic works on multiple levels. First, it presents a version of the Second Coming where Jesus reveals that "heaven" is actually a predatory scheme -- he has been cultivating a planet of defenseless beings for humans to exploit, which is a darkly comic inversion of the promise of paradise.
Second, the twist that Jesus came to the wrong planet suggests this is something he does repeatedly across the universe, accidentally revealing his true (sinister) plan to the wrong audience each time.
The final punchline -- Jesus being crucified again with the caption "Every fucking time" -- implies that this scenario plays out repeatedly: Jesus shows up, accidentally reveals the wrong pitch, and gets crucified for it. It's a darkly absurd take on the cycle of religious martyrdom, suggesting the crucifixion wasn't a one-time event but a recurring occupational hazard.
References
- The Second Coming of Christ: A core Christian belief that Jesus will return to Earth to bring the faithful to heaven.
- The Crucifixion: Jesus's execution by Roman authorities, central to Christian theology as an act of sacrifice and redemption.