findings
Explanation
The Joke
A scientist bursts in with alarming news: "Oh my God, are you reading this right?" The findings indicate something catastrophic -- that in six months, a coronal mass ejection will dislodge most of Earth's atmosphere. The reaction from the scientific community appears appropriately grave: "We will all die, praying for an exile. Every last person crawling for what little air remains." But then the scene shifts to a press conference where a reporter asks "Do you know what this means?" and the scientist responds with "Ghosts!" -- suggesting that the researchers are more excited about the implication that ghosts might be real (or some similarly absurd non sequitur) than concerned about the apocalyptic finding.
The comic satirizes how scientific findings are communicated to and interpreted by the public. The scientists discover something genuinely terrifying, but when it comes time to present the findings, the focus shifts to whatever sensational or clickbait-worthy angle can be extracted. The punchline -- "Guess who just got a bump in INTELLIGENCE" -- suggests the researchers are more interested in how this boosts their academic metrics or reputation than in the actual catastrophic implications.
The Humor
The humor targets the perverse incentive structures in modern academia and science communication. A world-ending discovery is reframed not as a crisis to address but as a career opportunity. The disconnect between the gravity of the situation (humanity will die) and the scientists' reaction (this is great for our publication record) is the core joke. It is a pointed satire of "publish or perish" academic culture, where even an extinction-level event is primarily valued for its impact factor.