self-destructive-beverages
Explanation
The Joke
The comic presents a chart titled "Self-Destructive Beverage Selection: A Guide." It is a scatter plot with two axes: "Hatred for Self" on the x-axis and "Hatred for Others" on the y-axis. Various alcoholic beverages are plotted on this grid based on what their consumption supposedly reveals about the drinker's psychology.
Beverages like beer, wine, and whiskey cluster in the low-self-hatred, low-other-hatred corner -- relatively "normal" choices. Gin scores high on hatred for others but low on self-hatred. As you move along the x-axis toward greater self-hatred, you encounter increasingly lowbrow options: malt liquor, box-wine, box-beer, "box-ethanol," wine coolers, rubbing alcohol, and finally the appletini, which occupies the extreme position of maximum self-hatred. Vodka in a plastic jug sits in the far corner of maximum hatred for both self and others.
The Humor
The comedy comes from using a pseudo-scientific chart format to codify the social judgments people make about drink choices. The joke plays on common stereotypes about what different beverages say about the person drinking them. Gin drinkers are portrayed as misanthropic but self-respecting, while appletini drinkers apparently despise themselves above all others. The escalation from real beverages (beer, wine) to absurd ones ("box-ethanol," rubbing alcohol) adds to the humor, as does the placement of "vodka in a plastic jug" at the extreme of both axes -- suggesting someone who hates everything and everyone equally. The inclusion of "rum featuring a pirate" (referencing brands like Captain Morgan) as distinct from regular rum is a particularly funny detail, implying that the pirate branding adds a specific quality of hostility.