Why
Explanation
The Joke
The comic depicts what appears to be a schoolyard bully hitting another kid while delivering a philosophical monologue instead of the usual taunts. Rather than saying something like "Give me your lunch money," the bully says: "Why you hittin' yourself? Why you hittin' yourself? You're not! You have no control. It's only frustrating because in this moment your powerlessness is utterly manifest, but it is true in all things! All things!"
The caption below reads: "Boy, the existential bullies were the worst."
The Humor
The comic takes the classic childhood bullying scenario of "stop hitting yourself" (where a bully grabs your hand and makes you hit your own face) and transforms it into an existential crisis. The traditional taunt is already somewhat philosophical -- it mockingly implies the victim is choosing to hit themselves -- but this bully takes it to its logical extreme by invoking determinism and the illusion of free will. The real twist of the knife is the bully's observation that this moment of physical powerlessness is merely a visible manifestation of a universal truth: you never have control over anything. It is a joke about how existential philosophy, taken to its conclusions, can feel a lot like being bullied by the universe.
References
The bully's speech touches on philosophical determinism -- the idea that all events, including human actions, are ultimately determined by prior causes and that free will is an illusion. This is a position associated with thinkers from Spinoza to modern neuroscientists like Sam Harris. The phrase "it is true in all things" echoes the hard determinist view that our sense of agency is always illusory, not just in moments of obvious physical coercion.