aspect
Explanation
This comic is presented in the style of a scientific proposal or academic paper, complete with a table and diagrams. The proposal argues that since "spaghettification" is not a specific outcome but rather a measure of the effect of tidal forces, it should instead be measured on a scale of "log-normalized aspect ratio" (L.A.R.), with each value on the scale receiving its own pasta-based name.
The table maps L.A.R. values from 0.0 to 1.0 to different shapes (shown as diagrams ranging from a perfect circle to an increasingly elongated strand) and assigns each a "relevant pasta nominalization":
- 0.0: Couscousification (a tiny sphere)
- 0.1: Orzofication (a small oval)
- 0.2: Gnocchification (a slightly elongated oval)
- 0.3: Korean Ricecakification (a longer oval)
- 0.4: Udonification (a thick noodle shape)
- 0.5: Spaghettification (the traditional term, a medium strand)
- 0.6: Vermicellification (a thinner strand)
- 0.7: Capellinification (an even thinner strand)
- 0.8: Miguafication (very thin)
- 0.9: Lamianification (extremely thin)
- 1.0: Yi Gen Mianification (impossibly thin, tangled strand)
A footnote reads: "*Assume spherical everything."
Spaghettification is a real term used in astrophysics to describe the vertical stretching and horizontal compression of objects into long, thin shapes in extremely strong gravitational fields, such as near black holes. The term was popularized by Stephen Hawking. The comic takes the playful nature of this already-whimsical scientific term and extends it to its logical absurd conclusion: if we are going to name a physical process after pasta, we should be precise about which pasta shape best matches the degree of stretching.
The humor lies in applying rigorous scientific methodology (log-normalized scales, diagrams, formal proposals) to something inherently silly -- categorizing tidal force effects by pasta type. The inclusion of increasingly obscure noodle varieties (from well-known spaghetti and vermicelli to specialized types like yi gen mian, a Chinese wheat noodle) adds to the comedy by demonstrating impressive culinary knowledge deployed for a completely pointless purpose.
The footnote "Assume spherical everything" is a classic physics joke referencing the common simplifying assumption in physics problems (most famously "assume a spherical cow"), here applied to the starting shape before tidal forces stretch it into various pasta forms.